Gut Wrenching

So I am knee deep in crying it out with my little guy.  I have tried so many approaches to his night wakings.  Different awake times, different soothing methods, different nap strategies - you name it.  Pick up/ Put down, shhh pat, putting down drowsy but awake... nothing has worked for us. I have even hovered over him like a maniac and tried to jiggle him through his sleep transitions. Call me Amanda Bynes.
For the record, I also want to point out that I'm not dealing with a baby who wakes once or twice at night.  This is a baby who wakes every 45 minutes.  So right now I am writing thoughts out into cyberspace to keep my mind from my crying baby (who I am home alone with right now).
This is the hardest thing I have ever done.  I feel like I might throw up.  I know that having a little boy who is happy and well rested is well worth what I'm going through, and that it's probably harder on me than it is on him, and that's why I've decided to cave and go for the approach I told myself I would never do.  And as I type - he has just fallen asleep.  I can hear him sniffling through the monitor.  Those sniffles you do when you have cried so hard and have nothing left.  I can honestly say that being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever done and teaching my son to sleep, which is for his own benefit, has officially broken me. My sniffles now match his.  But I know that tomorrow he will wake up smiling and well rested and be a happier healthier boy because of this. Hopefully tomorrow night is so much easier.

SLEEP please.... SLEEP

The battle of the Catnap/ Crib transition/ Mind *#&$

For all you moms out there who have sleeping babies, count your lucky stars! My baby has been a rough sleeper from the start.  Not only was he unfortunate enough to have reflux, he is the type that if there is the slightest ounce of discomfort, will wake up every 30 minutes! Sleep in the car you say? NOPE. Sleep in a carrier? NOPE...there are no guarantee's with this child.
Once when he refused to nap we took him on an hour car ride to visit relatives thinking he would fall asleep along the way.  NOPE. He literally went ALL day without a nap at that point.  We walked him around in the stroller and nothing.  Drove an hour home and nothing.
We ended up finding what we call "baby crack".  It's a Rock N Play we bought in the States (not available here in Canada) made by Fisher Price and his naps went to a whole 45 minutes and he ended up sleeping at night (with two wake ups for feeds).  It has the incline of a car seat which seemed to make him comfortable even when his reflux was at it's worst. This was magic for us! Two wake-ups a night made us feel like we had been on vacation for two weeks! And now, as all good things come to an end, our 6 month old is now sitting up and almost throwing himself out of this thing so into the crib it is and up every 45 minutes we are.  Oy.
We have tried a high incline with a wedge, books, a pillow under the mattress, positioning him with rolled up towels under the sheet, completely flat with nothing, completely flat with rolled up towels under the sheet, tummy sleeping (he's strong enough to roll over), side sleeping, you name it.  Some nights he surprises us and sleeps a whole two hours at a time.  Some nights he is up every time you place him down. Some night's he sleeps for half an hour. We are tired! Please tell me this gets better?  I am single handedly keeping Tassimo in business... those t-discs save my life every. single. day.  And when I think I'm at my whits end... I see this

and all is right in the world!

There's this boy... He calls me Mommy

You were born with a full head of hair on a rainy November night. We had been waiting for you for so long. November 9th was my due date and sure enough, my water broke on that day, at 4:00 in the morning. Your dad was so excited he jumped out of bed and started running around the house. I told him to call the hospital and let them know we were on our way and he shouted into the phone "my wife's water is broken!!".  The nurses and I both laughed and we were told to take our time, have breakfast and of course we had to wait for Gamma to arrive before we left. We couldn't wait to meet you.
Labour lasted 22 hours - but it flew by. Time was non-existent. I laboured in the bath, walked the halls, grabbed onto your daddy and he helped me through every contraction. It was painful but each time I thought I couldn't take it, I remembered I was one step closer to you. It was almost midnight by the time I was ready to push. I remember your dad was so excited when he realized your birthday was 10-11-12.  At 1:46 am you arrived welcomed by two nurses, Dr. Wilkinson, your Gamma, dad and me. They put you right on my chest and I snuggled you with tears in my eyes saying "my baby!"  Gamma kept yelling "Hi Jackson" and daddy was bawling his eyes out. You were safe, healthy and ours and we were so elated. First your dad and I had each other, then we had you, and now we have everything. 

Celebrating Baby J

Today was spent with the people who mean the most to me.  Some of them I haven't seen in a while, all of them have a permanent place in my heart.  Together my mom, aunt and best friend Sarah threw me a shower to celebrate the impending arrival of my first, Jackson.

With six weeks to go until his due date, I realized today that this inside baby was about to come out and join us.  Things are getting so real.  With every gift I opened, I tried to imagine what it will be like to snuggle my little one up with his new swaddle blankets, or button him into his new onesies.  His nursery is complete and the pile of baby items we were so generously gifted are put away and organized.  As I went through the gifts one by one at home, I couldn't help but think of how amazing today was.  How lucky we are to have such wonderful people in our lives.  How lucky we are to be bringing a little one into this amazing life that Gary and I have created together, filled with the love of the people we share it with.

My shower was filled with little tiny lovely details.  Tables done in blue with white flowers and confetti sprinkled on top.  Confetti of little duckies, umbrellas and the name Jackson.  Balloons filled the room in an array of soft pastel colours.  Everyone worked so hard to make today perfect and I am so grateful.

Now all we need to do is sit and wait for little J to come when he is ready.

New Obsession - Wreaths!

When I moved in to my house, my mom bought me a gorgeous wreath from Pier1 Imports that was somewhere around $80.  I cherish it! I keep it in a box all wrapped up and wait until the first sign of cold weather at the end of August and then I take it out and hang it on my front door. A wreath for every season would be amazing, but not at $80 a pop! Then, I realized, I can make my own! How brilliant. I set out on an online search to find a wreath How-To and came across a lovely yarn wreath at happyserendipity.com that totally inspired me to create my own version.  Winter is just around the corner, and after Halloween this lovely wreath is going to be hanging proudly on my front door.  I wanted to keep it simple and chic without too much going on.

Finished Wreath

Wreath Materials - Foam Wreath - Yarn- Scissors, Felt, Rinnob and a Glue Gun

I started by covering a foam wreath with a ball of yarn.  I tried to keep the coverage even but I wasn't too worried about making it perfect.  Then, I created fabric flowers out of felt.  To do this, cut your felt into a circle.  Once your circle is cut out, you cut a spiral all the way through the centre of the circle until you're left with a little flap at the end.  This is going to be the end of your flower.  Start rolling the felt from the outside of the spiral in towards the centre and use the flap to glue it into place.

I added a little ribbon to the side and found a nice pin at the craft store to pin into the flowers.  I wanted it to look like the one on happyserendipity.com with my own twist.  I'm pretty proud of this little guy and almost.... ALMOST.... can't wait until it's finally winter and I can hang him on my front door.

If you're inspired to make a wreath of your own, there are many different styles you can create.  Check out my DIY Home board on Pinterest if you'd like some inspiration.

:)

Up up and away!!!

This year for our wedding anniversary, my fabulous in-laws got us a one-in-a-lifetime gift! A hot air balloon ride :)  I couldn't believe it and I was so excited as this is something I've wanted to do since Dorothy returned to Kansas!  We went up with a company called Skyward Balloons that's run by a family out of a small town near Woodstock, Ontario.  They were amazing!  What I liked about this particular company was how safe I felt.  We had previously booked a flight with them that was cancelled due to low visibility - they don't want to take your money for no reason! They wanted to make sure that we had the best view, the best experience and the safest flight.  My kind of people :)  If this is something you have on your bucket list, I would highly recommend going.  Especially on a crisp October morning :)  The day couldn't have been more perfect and I am so thankful. 

Hallowe'en Invitations

This year I decided I would have a little get together with some girlfriends on the Sunday before Halloween.  What gets you in a spooky mood better than some fun themed snacks, a little fortune telling and some spiked punch? Well to start, the invitation should set the tone of your party.  I was inspired by a Martha Stewart invitation that consisted of a severed finger with a little rope tied around it that said "don't forget to r.s.v.p" but, unfortunately, I was a few years late on that DIY kit and I couldn't find it anywhere.  I had to be creative and come up with the next best thing which consisted of witch finger cookies, a DIY coffin box and a printed invitation that I dyed with a tea bag and rolled into a scroll.

 Baking Supplies

 Recipe (Found on allrecipes.com)

 Fingers (and one toe for goodluck)

 DIY coffin box (made out of bristol board)

Finished Cookie :)

Invites

Halloween is and always has been one of my favourite Holidays! I love searching thrift stores and craft stores for new things to spookify my house with.  What are your favourite DIY Halloween ideas?